Conflicting advice - how does anyone heal from tennis elbow?

Hi,
There are multiple threads out there regarding tennis elbow, but mine is a special case as it seems to be more extreme and has literally ripped my life to pieces (I'm only 22!) I'd really appreciate it if someone could clear up a few things I don't understand.

My situation

Tennis elbow in both arms from typing. The damage is caused by finger movement and not the same causes as generic tennis elbow. I got this last August, since then not ONCE have I ignored pain (after the first hour or so), they have had almost 7 months to rest. My fingers and arm feel very odd if I try to type (I'm actually typing this with my toes haha).

My treatment

Seen doctor, physio and specialist. Stretches work fine but strengthening exercises usually cause damage as they are very sensitive. Used ice, heat, painkillers, even intrasound. Massaged to try reduce scar tissue.
100% rest.

What hurts

Tensing to straighten my hand causes damage. Any kind of finger pressure (typing,texting), also gripping to an extent. It is not sharp pain it is subtle burning that shoots down into fingers, when localised sensation is in elbow. Resisted wrist flexion does NOT hurt.

What I don't understand

1) People make out that tennis elbow is just an annoyance? I can't work or do anything, I've wasted a year to rest it and theres been a pathetic amount of progress. It's costing me everything and there's nothing I can do.

2) Some sources say take pain killers to reduce inflam, others say don't...

3) Some say tendon issues may not even be inflammation at all...

4) I want to relax the muscles and remove scar tissue, surely ICE is not the way to do this. It reduces inflam yes, but at what cost.

5) Is it better to keep trying exercises or just let it heal without the risk of aggravating it?

My cycle

It makes progress over a month, then I do something to try and increase flexibility and suddenly it feels weak again. Another month for it to regain strength before I can experiment again. Unbelievably frustrating.

My Conclusion

I'm getting very worried now, I've come to accept the world isn't particuarly good at treating this? I will keep trying but the days are wasting away. Thank you for any advice and answers you can give!

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did you find a way to cure this shit? I'm suffering as well,
please let me know...