Now for the sob story of the year. Apologies for this being my first post, these initial one-offs probably annoy you all but I really need some advice. Any help on this would be greatly appreciated as I'm suffering a lot and am very close to giving up..

About a year ago I damaged my right shoulder doing front-deltoid raises with admittedly poor technique (all about the front, not much attention to strengthening back muscles, always had poor posture, 6'2", work on a computer all day). First port of call was rest, ice/heat, ibuprofen and then gentle rehab. After a month of this I wasn't making any progress so the doctor gave me some stronger pain meds, some Diclofenac and a referral for physio (a month waiting list). I also had an MRI which diagnosed subacromial bursitis.

Despite staying out of the gym for a further month and making effort to correct posture / use up all my meds the pain was getting worse. Gentle physio didn't seem to work and after 3 sessions and some recommended home therapy (stretch bands, all the scapula / rotator cuff stabalisation exercises etc.) a month later and no progress. I was then given a steroid injection by one of the top shoulder surgeons at my own expense (no ultrasound used?) - It was wondrous, my pain had gone and I was sent home ecstatic. 2 or 3 days later the pain returned with avengeance - I guess it was just the anesthetic. At this stage I was swiftly losing my gym gains and as quite an insecure person I was starting to lose a lot of confidence, especially as I had just met my current girlfriend at this time and really wanted to be myself w/no pain.

I took it all in my stride and accepted that pain management was more important and that getting my body back came second, life has ups and downs etc. 5 months since the initial injury I had had enough - the pain was radiating into my neck (scalene's) and my upper back between my scapula and spine - a trigger point - and also the back of my neck - all on the same side as my damaged shoulder. I paid top whack for a subacromial decompression. Despite being very painful afterwards the radiating pain had stopped so i was happy to cope with a healing pain as opposed to a 'something is wrong and i don't know what' pain.

Sadly, a month or so after the op my radiating neck and back pain came back - especially in my scalene connecting to my clavicle - causing bad pec minor pain. My surgeon said it's likely to be caused by weakened muscles on the right side causing stress on the left - lack of symmetrical muscle strength causing instabilities basically and that I should stick at physio.

It's now been almost a year and almost 3 months since my surgery. The initial shoulder pain has pretty much gone although my ROM is not quite there yet. I cannot get rid of the pain in my scalenes / back - it's ruining me. I've tried rest, ice/heat, nSAIDS, physio, sports massages and now I've been going to a chiropractor - the pain relief was really good but it's short-lived and expensive. He also thinks the instability has pulled my neck vertebrae out of alignment so he's been clicking my neck / putting electrode suction pads on my back - genuinely feels so good and sends me home smiling and pain free but it doesn't last.

This ordeal has taken everything from me - My confidence, my passion (I'm a pianist and budding musician but can't sit at a piano without pain, also a writer but can't concentrate to get inspired, can't concentrate at work) and I know my girlfriend wouldn't leave me over this but I feel as though my pain is vastly affecting my mood and tolerance and I'm dying to show her the real me as this has changed me so much and all I want to do is get my life back, my personality - I don't want to bore her but I can't go on holiday because I wouldn't enjoy it with the pain, I can't get myself out of the house very much - I'm surprised she hasn't ditched me already! She is very understanding but it's more about me - I'm very unhappy, unstable, uninspired and although I never thought I'd admit this - the mass amounts of opiates, drinking to mask pain and lack of physical activity has left me with somewhat suicidal tendencies. Brought a tear to my eye to just write that.

Please - If anyone can help me figure out what's causing this pain, please just reach out and help because I am at my wits end with this and I can't take it any more. I hate to sound so emotional but it's destroying me. I've had X-rays, no abnormalities, 2 MRI's, having a neck MRI tomorrow - it's killing me.

Cheers,

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