Brief Medical History Overview
Please help, anxiety with physios
Firstly, let me apologize in advance if this post seems inappropriate, overly critical or sharp. I ask only that you keep a fair mind, and listen what I have to say.
My problem is that I am now terrified of physios. Yes, i know it sounds daft but its the truth. I was involved in a very bad accident 3 years ago, and I had confided in a doctor as to some health concerns I had caused by a...certain vice of mines. I wasnt proud of it, but being a young man, it was too easy to give into temptation, and I had only mentioned it to the doctor in passing because I had some fears that it perhaps would compromise my treatment and overall health. The doctor was very understanding and passed no judgment as to me, or my situation and was able to put my mind at rest.
After an extended period in hospital, I had outpatient physio, and enjoyed my time with my therapist, finding her civil, and helpful. She managed to help my foot, helped me regain some balance and mobility and things went rather well. Surprisingly, she seemed quite happy to chat about herself and we talked about things other than just my treatment.
I had confided in her a rather trivial thing, I voiced some concerns about my therapy, not as a slight on her, just a sense of frustration at my own lack of progress because it meant that I was not able to fulfill certain tasks as well i would have liked. I had a very poorly relative, and so I was wanting to get better as soon as possible so that I could resume my frequent visits to this sick relative. My emotions got the better of me, and I (without meaning to) and I was appaled at myself, began to cry a little. I felt that i had embarrassed her, and so left early, to try and clear the air, although she was quite adamant things were ok.
The next appointment, I was still feeling a little agitated, and she must have picked up on this. She took me to the cubicle and then quite out of the blue, asked me about the sensitive issue I had discussed with my doctor. At this stage my shock soon gave way to anger, although I didnt say anything. She continued:
"Im just suprised...someone who cares about their sick relative, would do (the issue i discussed with the doctor). Your a young, handsome guy, why would you do that? It doesnt bother me, Im just curious..."
At this stage I had heard enough and promptly left.
I felt very awkward in her presence and so promptly re arranged therapy with another therapist in a different hospital.
I feel very angry that she took it upon herself to actually even raise the awkward issue, it had no bearing on my foot, or my therapy...and it just seemed at best, extremly crass and inappropriate.
To her credit she admitted it to her superiors....but I complained and was told that she "tried her best with me..." and that "she was just trying to help". This whole scenario has left a nasty taste in the mouth...and I just feel like that physios have a license to do what they want. As soon as a complaint is implemented, the troops rally together, and it gets a whitewash.
I got no apology and I am sorry, but I just feel very apprehensive about being in the presence of a physio now. I dont understand her rationale, if she had tried to use that as blackmail material then I could understand it more...but to raise it out of the blue, and in the manner she did....it just doesnt sit comfortably.
I now feel that my weaknesses, my vices and all the bad things I do, are scrutinized and judged. All I want is to be treated with is dignity. Yes, I may have done bad things, or quesitonable deeds. But surely, the first thing a health professional should do is to be able to hide their disgust? Or am I so very wicked, that I torment health workers so much, that they cannot keep quiet?
The saddest thing of all is that I had other therapists who were simply lovely, and the fact that this has happened...has now left me questioning them. Did they to feel the same degree of revulsion, and were their smiles and concern nothing more than a means of dealing with me as quickly as possible?
I know that physios have a difficult and demanding job...and that there are good as well as bad. I just feel like that I cant take that chance again...so what do i do?
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